Fire passion heart and reaching balance - December 2015
Written by Pavithra LH @ starcrystalportal.com
There is something deep within us that wants to awaken, to come out and play, to express itself and enjoy life; this is our Eternal spirit and when its path is blocked by mental concepts, stories, rules, boundaries and distorted lifestyles then we experience pain, emptiness, and coldness.

When this happens there is a disconnection, a separation within, and a conflict that we need to dig deep and find so we can correct it. The intention with this writing is to find this by exploring many avenues that we may be creating disconnections.

Separated thinking
When coming from a place of separated thinking our main focus is to avoid the fear that is within us that is screaming and wanting to belong to something, wanting to be re-connected to the oneness that we were once part of so that we can feel that comfort that we had before. This is hidden within our being somewhere and we are not aware of this so our main focus is always to avoid this fear. Our cultures, family and all the people around us are built on this mindset and we are not aware of this thinking until something really forces us to look at it, even then we will make up some excuse to blame others for our issue and not face it. We must take responsibility!

Most of our relationships are based on this fear and often we don't look at it this way because we are not aware of it. For us, it is normal to have family and friends as support systems to keep us going. If we observe we can see that most of the relationships that we have are based on conditional love as there is a part of us that is scared to fully love and are living in fear. There is a resistance within.

The same pattern comes up with financial success which is there to get us going in this world, to provide for our life. But for us it does more than that, it keeps us safe and the fear of security is reduced to a lower level when we have money with us. When there is money we don't feel the survival fear and that fear is covered up by money and the materialistic lifestyles we are living. This compensates for the emptiness and loneliness many of us feel these days due to our disconnection from spirit. This seems to be high in the western world as people there seems to be more and more focused on the materialistic way of life and feeling the disconnection from nature and spirit more than others but this is not just a problem for the west, it is something that has spread across the globe due to many reasons.

When we are threatened or dismantled to a level where we do not have anything and are being asked to look at our fears, this is a scary place to be in. If our relationship with family or partner is based on fear at any level where the survival or dependency is placed then when things get shaken we can really see the cracks in our unconscious thinking patterns. This is a good time to pay attention and be observant. These are all stemming from the separated mindset that continues to bring in fear and survival behind the scene and we have been unconscious participants to these fears all of our lives.

Mind-made fantasies
We can also see why the concepts, like family, is so important or the obligation to get marry and have a family or get a good job and make money is pushed when we grow up. This is how the system works, all we do is pick up a mind-made set of patterns, a lifestyle our families and society have been keeping for many generations. We see this in movies and fantasy stories as they promote that this is the way to live your life. These are all mind-made fantasy worlds that we live in.

Find the love of your life and be happy have a family and you are set for life. There is a fantasy that is built into everything; there is a rosiness and comfort in them and we continue to seek these kinds of relationships and way of life as that feels safe and secure and comforting and the hidden survival and fear begins to dissipate when we have these fantasy lives. But when we don't get this type of fantasy that's in our head with relationships we are in or with our families then we get disappointed and want to find it somewhere else or create it with anyone we can find. This is how we are all trained. If we observe we begin to understand that all of this is in our heads, we have created mind-made realities and expect things to match that reality and when things are not matching this reality we get confused so we resist what is creating conflicts within. Without understanding this truth, however, we try to make it work, somehow or other, we are continually disappointed by the relationships and the things in our life as they do not fulfill these fantasy stories that we have in our heads.

It's a trap!
Many do not see this as a trap as this is so deeply built in as part of the materialistic world way of life where if you can't get it from here then you can get it from somewhere else concept is so common among the people. Also if you have money some of these fantasies can come true to a limit but the trick is sometimes even with money the rosy world we created in our heads does not come to life. All this is confusing to us as we can't understand why after all this hard work and continuous hard work we cannot manifest what we want.

The real question that we have to ask is "Is this really what I want? and What is the underline reason for my fantasies? Where do they come from? and What is the cause of all this?".

Spirit urges us to see the truth
If we are on a spiritual path we might begin to notice that some of these mind-based expectations or distorted ways do not serve our spirit guided life anymore and we begin to notice the pressure to change the way we are looking at the world. We need to look at the words like "job", "family" , "partner", etc. and look at our perception of them and what expectations are. Are they part of our fantasy world in our head? Where is the materialistic survival thinking and where is the spirit-driven freedom thinking?. If we are still in the fear based thinking where we think we cannot live without them, they are the support system, we depend on them and if we let them go what will happen to us? At this point, we are still holding the fear within us and we need to pay attention.

Looking at nature for answers
We are all part of the oneness, if we observe nature we can see how nature takes care of itself. For a plant, in the morning there is sunshine and the ground provides for the nutrients and water and the wind brings in moisture and whatever it needs. In time the rain comes to nourish the plant and the ground so there is enough water to keep it going. It lives in prosperity and abundance. It either grows old and dies or there will be a natural event where it will be taken out. It's part of the ways of nature and everything in nature surrenders to these cycles.

For us to be free from the fear of survival and security we need to dig deeper and witness the fear that is stemming from the separated thinking then we know the cause for our fears with this truth we can begin to let go of the fears and surrender to what is and to the oneness that's within and around us.

Oneness is the answer
If we can give ourselves to the oneness without any conditions then the natural flow of nature can take care of us as it takes care of the rest of creation. When surrender happens we release the barriers that we were holding within that are keeping us away from the natural flow. This takes great courage as well as trust in the unknown. We feel vulnerable when we are in a place like that and part of us wants to deny this truth and wants to go and do something to make this better but there is no other way to find true freedom. We cannot find true freedom from this fear in something or someone outside of ourselves. If we think we find it, then we are lying to ourselves as we know that it is not permanent and we find ourselves continuing to worry when it might be taken away from us. If we are true to ourselves then we will notice the nudge from our spirit to take this path of surrender. To give up the resistance to what is.

Finding allies
But when we are in a space of fear that nudge does not get heard that loud so we begin to look for ways to get out of this mess that we are in. We try to find something that might cover up the pain and fear and we might even look for advice from outside sources like friends or family that are not aware of this spiritual process and they would likely be telling us to get out of it. Find a way to be free from all of this, as this is nonsense who will be in the right frame of mind to think like that to let go of their job or their security or life that they have? This is all good advice for that part of us that is scared and wants a support system to sustain the lie it is living, which is mainly its survival.

Now that we observe this situation, we can see the ego part of us: the part that is patriotic which hold coldness and lacks love, compassion and understanding and thinks only from the head and it uses emotions to fight for its survival and so uses anything, anyone, or any excuse to keep it alive.

Dismantling the head-based thinking
If you are going through a dismantling process then the spirit part is louder and pressing hard on you and most of the avenues you are taking to escape from facing this truth is not working for you anymore and what you are doing is not working as you wanted. Things are hard to manifest and you are confused and desperate and fear begins to take control of you. Know that at this time your eternal spirit has got you cornered and is forcing you to make a decision, to see the truth and face the fear deep within you that is taking you away from your true freedom. Not the false freedom that you seek through mind-made fantasies and dramas, but the real freedom which gives freedom from the inner fears that suppress us and get us going on automatic through all our lives.

Before this surrender happens, this becomes an extremely hard place for a person to be in and this also can become a humbling experience which could bring them more closer to themselves and to their hearts. This leads to reveal the coldness the person was holding and through compassion and humility the heart begins to open and love begins to flow, neutralizing the coldness within. At this stage the person will feel a mini death as the ego, the imposter pretending to be us is dying and it does not like this so it will fight and try to destroy what it can. So be aware of this as it is dying. This is true freedom for a person and that cannot be taken away from us and when we are there our fears of 'what ifs' begins to fade.

Looking at head and heart-based cultures
There are cultures that are heart-based that live from passion and then there are cultures that are head-based that live mental constructed lifestyles. Both parties are imbalanced as there is a disconnection between the head and the heart. Without that connection both parties feel that there is something missing within.

Some of the mental concepts and way of life are so common among us and we think that these rules and conditions and boundaries are there to support us and to bring us order but if we dig deep we can see that they are making us more rigid and might be hindering us from expressing our true potential as a spiritual being in human form.

Conditioned lifestyles?
Let's look at a simple thing: in some cultures it is considered proper and polite to say thank you, excuse me, can I do this or that etc., to each other and if that is not followed the person is considered rude and inconsiderate of others. Whoever does this is not well received and considered wild or something is wrong with that person. There is a rigidity that asks that things must be this way and no bending from it is allowed and if you are behaving differently from these conditions you are not part of the group or us.

Questions asked
When we notice this, we have to ask a question, What is the reason for us to expect the other person to behave this way? In some cultures these rules and concepts are not being used that much. Conversation within a group is done without a single pause where the person might not stop to say excuse me can I say something or sorry can you pass that dish. From one point of view, there are many interruptions during a conversation where one person can barge in and start to add something or the conversation moves from one area to another or someone joins in and interrupts the whole thing.

Some might ask, Why do these people act like this? Why don't they make a polite gesture instead of just behaving like this? What can be the reason behind this? What if the reason for this is that they don't feel a separation from each other, where for them my house is your house, my food is your food etc., is something that is a known within and they live with that feeling so their actions bring it in every time. They don't have to stop and think that the other is separate from them and I must stop and ask them for this or that. What if this concept is something that they don't understand and for them there are no boundaries to their expression among themselves so they feel free to express themselves with their heart and emotions?

Fusion in the interactions
When they live their lives this way, there is a fusion and there is this fire and passion that comes out of it. There is an unrestricted flow where the spirit flows through them in to their actions and words and from that their hearts get activated and begin to fuel the action or the words; there is a celebration between the spirit and the flesh.

If you have been to a cultural celebration or a group gathering where there is food and people then you can observe this in action where there is no inhibition and there is warmness and love coming out of the event. Liquor is not required to bring this out of them as it comes out naturally for them and they live their lives from their heart. Or if we are in one of their market places then we can see the way they all talk and interact; everything is loud and active and alive. There is fire, this is life, whereas in a head-based culture a mega store could feel so cold and dead.

If we are in a place where fire is ignited and we are interacting we can feel our hearts gets filled with fire. Traveling does that to people and they wonder why they feel like that when they are there; this is one of the reasons among many that brought them fire. In a comical and exaggerated way interactions between people was shown in the movie "My big fat Greek wedding" where the guy's family dinner with mom and dad is with proper etiquette and coldness whereas the girl's family dinner with the whole family had fire and emotions and the expressions were interesting to watch.

But there is also something missing within them as well. What we see is without having the head to think straight and be balanced in their thoughts and actions, they let their emotional body take control of them. Sometimes some are so emotional that they can't control themselves; their emotional body is so big even a small thing can trigger a massive amount of emotional outburst. Without the head to think straight they are at the mercy of their emotions.

When the expression is controlled with concepts like "proper way of life", rules and boundaries, the spirit cannot come out and express itself then there is less fire in them, also there is no fusions in our intersections with each other so our hearts begin to get cold and with that our blood and body begin to get colder as well. There is an emptiness that comes out of this and the love cannot flourish in this state. Without knowing this, we begin to look for unnatural methods to fill this emptiness, which gives the ego more ways to control us and get bigger.

Head and fantasies
People that are more head-based have their relationships and rest of their lifestyles based on mind-made fantasies that they have created for themselves and then live in them. Because of this most of the relationships are not deeply rooted in the heart and as the heart connections are less the love is not felt that much then the relationships are felt mostly on the surface and they can end easily. Because of this they have the ability to go and pick some other relationship more easily. Most can't feel deeply for another and also they are scared to feel or open the heart as it is so foreign to them.

Dealing with emotions
Both types of people are confused as to how to deal with emotions. If more head-based and controlled life style is applied to the person from childhood then the emotions are suppressed and placed under the rug, never to be seen again. There are uncontrolled outburst once in a while other than that they are hidden making the person more numb and over time making them cold and less loving. When this happens emotions are expressed in not so loud ways through relationships and events. If the emotions are placed under the rug then they are stored in different parts of the body but the body does not like this so it will find ways to get rid of them through many avenues including disease.

Some are good at talking about their emotions and thoughts so they bring in some sort of peace to them but they too are mostly mind made concepts not much is associated with the heart and love so they too have their disadvantage. Among these we see some of them are mostly in their heads and gather data and process them to reach conclusions that supports them in their lives but they don't touch their hearts even though they seems to be in control of themselves but when it comes to heart related issues they are not sure what to do.

If the person is more heart-based and have less connection to their head then they have less control over their emotions and they can be triggered easily. For them the wisdom of the heart cannot reach the head to bring in balance instead the mind-made ego has more control over the emotions.

There are also people that are in-between these types where whether they are in head or heart based does not matter as they have more or less aware of their emotions and are expressing them with control and understanding. They have reached a more balanced state with their head and heart through this understanding.

Ego control
When mind-made concepts and ideas are inhibiting the natural human flow of the being, ego begins to grow within us, as it can control the person as well as keep the spirit out of the way. Ego knows if the spirit is allowed to come out and play then the spirit has the ability to be unpredictable and it will open the heart center where love and fire flows out. Ego cannot plan anything around this or have control over this, so it creates pseudo rules and mental concepts to keep the spirit controlled. As we are not aware of this, Ego uses traps and trickery and many false stories and concepts to get us to agree to these rules and play these silly games that allows the survival of Ego or the Imposter. It's time we really look at these rules, concepts and fantasies to see if they are really supportive to our highest good.

I remember seeing the TV series "Avatar the last air bender", where Ang and his friends were in the Fire nation and Ang gets to go to one of the Fire nation schools where the proper way of life was taught which was full of patriotic-controlled lies and stories (Propaganda). There he begins to notice how the children were taught to be controlling of their actions and their natural expression was forbidden. Ang and his friends got these kids to come over for a dancing party which was a new experience for them. Here is the link if you are interested to see that episode(S03E02) on YouTube.
Part1 https://youtu.be/SzmOFdUP5kM Part 2 https://youtu.be/1r3ADU4CoVo

 
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Doing and being and how that is played out in our day to day life

Doing and the mind
The people that are mostly head-based: Their mind is continually taking steps to secure the survival of the false self, the ego. So they will be continually forced to DO to make things work for them to bring that mind-made reality to life. They believe in DOING to make things work for them. Some of them are not that sure about the spirit or the oneness that has the ability to provide for them if they are aligned to that force. They feel alone and for them the only way to survive this world is by doing things; making things work for them according to the mind-made picture that they have in their head. There mind never shuts down and for them not doing something is lazy. It is hard for them to surrender their ego and let the spirit guide them to surrendered action.

The concept BEING is something foreign to most of them as they are mostly in the doing something mode. Meaning for them even to relax, to sit down or lie down is hard. If possible they want something to feed their mind. So a book, TV show, music, talking or something is needed to keep the mind occupied while the body is relaxed to a level. This is due to the disconnection from the heart that is so relaxed and enjoys the life experiences as they come. As I've written above, the mind-made worlds and making them a reality is their top priority for their survival. Also they feel the emptiness that arises from this lifestyle and to keep that capped they must do something. If we observe we can understand how difficult it is to see this trap and be free of it.

Being and the heart
The people that are mostly heart-based: Their mind too is constantly taking steps to get things done but the mind feels a drag from the heart. The heart or the spirit is relaxed about life. So the people are more relaxed and slow in their day to day activities. They don't seems to have a care for time that much, if they say they will be somewhere around 2pm, they probably will be there around 3pm or 4pm; coming there all relaxed, no excuses or apologies. They probably met a friend and talked or went and had a tea with a friend on their way and forgot about the time all together or left home a little later than expected. Sometimes they go to their friend's place unannounced, no plans and stay for tea and even for dinner and people do not mind that they have to postpone their activity to take care of their guest. This kind of lifestyle is common among them and they tend to be more relaxed around time as that is not a big thing for them. Of course things are changing for them as well, as some of the younger generations are able to think more and are asking to change the way of life, or possibly head-based life.

As you can see the false self is having a difficult time dealing with this kind of lifestyle as it cannot built the mind-made realities as fast as it wants. There is a slowness or a BEINGNESS that people express through their daily activities. So it finds other ways to gain control, the emotional body is something that it uses constantly to control the people and their actions and moods. Also it uses the mind-made concepts, stories and religions to gain control as well. Most of these distorted concepts and stories are inserted into the country or planetary field from intruders as a way to control people. They have a tendency to believe more of these stories and false concepts without thinking that much.

As you can see the mind is making a different kind of mind-made reality for these people through these false stories, concepts and religions and getting them to believe in them. If we observe we can see them living and believing in things more than the head-based cultures do and they are more passionate about what they believe. Even though they are more heart-based they too are still being controlled by the false self and their mind through mind-made stories, concepts and false gods.

For them to make a connection between heart and head, they must be willing to see the truth in these mind-made stories and false gods so that they can be free from these bondage's that they are holding to bring in true freedom for themselves. The more they can think for themselves and be free from these false stories and gain control over their emotions the more they can bring in the head and heart alignment.

Fire and Ego
This false self that is pretending to be us, the Ego, sees the fire within or in someone else and it goes in to action. It judges, complains, treats the person bad, puts them down and finds a way to squish them. It can be a person, a community or a country that was being destroyed just to please the ego and continue its survival and often we are not even aware of what we are doing. We have so many judgements towards others and we even justify them with each other. We can say their lifestyle is not civilized like ours or look at the way they eat, they use their hands, or look at the clothes they wear or what they are not wearing. Or they paint their bodies and wear feathers in their heads. Can you see they are worshiping the sun and think the plants and trees are alive, they don't even have a religion. We've got so many excuses as to why they are so different and why their way is not proper. Whose way is proper and whose way supports Eternal spirit is not being asked. Through our ignorance we destroy nations and people and we lose the opportunity to learn and possibly heal our hearts and awaken our being to another level.

Larger scale work at separating heart and head
We can see separated thinking in action on a larger scale with communities and countries where there was a way of life that was built in to support and nurture the people which was threatened and taken away which in time destroyed that community or country making it lose its footing, its foundation and forced them in to fear and survival mode. It is most common to notice this affect on lands or countries that were colonized by an outside force. After realizing this truth we might be able to expand our awareness and ask, Can this be done to a planet with an outside invasion force?

We can see the effects of colonization with native Indians here as well as in Asia and other countries where the colonization brought in a destruction to the lands and their people. Way of life was destroyed and new things were forced in to their system like a virus and that created trauma and pain to the people, country and to their consciousness field. Even though some of these new ways of life might be useful to them from one point of view but was not suppose to be forced on. They could have naturally picked what they need when they are ready with their consciousness evolution. This process destroyed their way of life and their foundations that they had for thousands of years and that dropped them into a survival state. Many might not even be aware that this was what happened to them. While they are still struggling to get back on their footing with this new forced lifestyle, concepts, rules and religions.

If we observe we will notice the separated thinking within them, the fear and the survival as they are still not sure how to build a new foundation from all these new concepts and lifestyles that were left behind by the intruders and their old foundations are not that strong anymore. There is a separation, a disconnection within and they are not aware of how to move on and come to peace with all the anger, pain and confusion that was created from it. This effect also can be seen in countries where there was a war.

This was another way of separation or disconnection from the head and heart as they lost their foundation and the way of life that was based on heart and love and was forced to pick up foreign concepts, rules and boundaries that caused them to lose their connections to their heart.

Healing the rift
There is no finger pointing at this point as there might be other things that we are not yet aware of that caused the events to take place. We need to observe what has happened and be compassionate to both parties by bringing in understanding and forgiveness as we know both parties need healing and balance if we are to heal as a race and a planet. If we are willing, we can heal our hearts and heads and bring our spirit out more with understanding, humility, forgiveness and acceptance of others. Both parties need to understand that the mind created fantasy worlds, rules, concepts and boundaries that we are so used to and are holding so tightly consciously or unconsciously are not there to support us but to give the false self within the control over us. We have to find a way to let go of the ego to a level so that it is not controlling our action and thoughts and we are free to connect with our spirit and surrender to its guidance so that our hearts and heads can re-connect again.

Surrender
The biggest thing the ego is after is having control over everything in our life. It brings in fear and deception to convince us that what we are after is what we really want. But when we begin to observe the truth of this, we see that most of the things that we are after does not make us really happy. They are just temporary things that fills us for a time and there is no true freedom in these kinds of relationships or things that we acquire. Always there is that feeling of fear, What if we lose them and then what will happen to us?

Ego or the false self need things to have an identity, without an identity it cannot survive. So we create so many mind-made patterns, expectation and fantasies to help us live this dream while acquiring things to solidify this state. We also keep projecting to the future to make ourselves happy and solidify that state in our mind . We say when this happens I will be happy or when I get there I will be happy but the reality is that we are never happy as we are always running after another fantasy. Change our way of thinking and surrender to 'what is'.

What we need to realize is that we must be happy at this moment. To do that we need to change our mind and our expectations of ourselves. If we change our mind and our expectations and be grateful for what we have and not resist what it is then we can be free of the ego's control over us. Then we don't continue to compare 'what is' to the mind-created patterns and rules and resist life. Instead we will create peace and happiness with this present moment by surrendering to what is. As there is no inner and outer conflict, nor a conflict between head and heart, then there is no war within. This state creates peace and we begin to stay more in the present.

In the present state ego loses its control over us and the mind-made reality and patterns begin to collapse so the head and heart can merge and our spirit can come through and assist us in healing ourselves. Remember ego is always after control and it cannot survive surrender, the more we surrender to what is the more it loses its control.

This process that we are going through can be looked at as bringing balance by joining our heart and head or mother and father or East and West where our heads come in more alignment with our hearts. Where we live our lives more in this moment, connected to our spirit.

Love
Pavithra