Letting go of Victim-hood - May 2016
Problem started with the incarnation
It seems when we entered this universal matrix, we have picked up the distortions of it. It's some sort of a supper imposition on our divine blue print. Another false template was place on top of it distorting our incarnation on this planet. What we manifest as our DNA, blood, body and multi-dimensional body is this distortion. There are multiple distortions based on what level we look at it from. Distortions we picked up from our biological family and ancestry is a big one as it goes all the way to where the first distortion of blood and DNA happened. For some when they dig deep it goes even up to universal matrix level and beyond.
We create our own reality from within
Next thing that we come to understand is that whatever that distortion we picked up or was supper imposed on us is what we manifest around us as our reality. So our parents, our families and everything else that we have is based on that distortion. We create our own reality from within. That means what we have around us right now is what is within us. From what we have and how we think. We already know, when we think and understand differently, our reality change. If there was no distortion to our blue print then we could have manifested that reality outwards. But that is not the case for most of us in this matrix. We must come to some form of understanding of this situation to let go of all victim states that we have. As there are many levels to it. Sometimes this state is so engraved within our psyche we don't even know we are acting as victims to life situations. It has become part of our normal life. Others around us do it so it is normal to many and in fact it has become a habit.
It's a program
How many times we see victim and victimization played in our lives and people around us. We work on ourselves and say this is the last time I am letting myself be a victim. When that is done we look around and then see another situation where we have allowed ourselves to be a victim. This tells us that there are several levels to this victim state. According some spiritual teachers there are 6 or 7 levels to this state. This v/v is a complex program and is extremely vicious. If we are running this program within us on any layer then we are not really experiencing true freedom as we are trapped in some kind of a illusion and living a lie.
Understanding bit of truth
If we can understand the concept of we create our own reality then when we chose to be born to this planet and this universal matrix; we knew what we are getting in to. If we were within the matrix when this distortion happened then we were part of the process however it happened. Either way, we are here and now must understand the situation from whatever the level we can understand till we are given more information and clarity from our eternal self within.
Stop the blame
Learning to take responsibility for ourselves and our reality that we have created is a must if we want to be free from v/v states and this program. When we do, then we are no longer a victim of outside influences. We are taking that power we have given to outside world. Then we become powerful beings who understand what has happened and taking actions to correct the situation whatever it is. Correct the errors within to manifest a better reality, a new outer world for ourselves. We can also bring in forgiveness to forgive ourselves and forgive others as we are no longer blaming the world for our problems. This realization brings in more clarity, peace and calmness to us as we no longer feel we are victims.
When we except this truth, we begin to be able to see and let go of those hidden fears we had for a long time as we are no longer a victim to them. With that we can start to re-build that trust we might have lost due to our false understanding of our reality. By understanding what we have outside of us is what we have within we can learn to dig deep within and heal ourselves. For example, If we have trust issues with others that means we have trust issues within...etc.
Also, If we live the life as victims at any state then there are parts of us that are living in fear and distrust. Those parts are hidden within and that means we have not fully allowed ourselves to be here and now experiencing life. We are holding something within. Because of this, there are fears, holding patterns, boundaries, shadows etc. This shows in our manifestation as relationship issues somewhere. Also this can manifest as lack and limitations or diseases. We might not be sure how this manifest but these issues do manifest somewhere.
Now that we understand we create our reality, we can now go back to heal our past. Our relationship with our parents and family is something that we all go back to heal. Most of our base unconscious fears and patterns came from our childhood. Whatever happened there is the foundation for rest of our lives and our relationship with ourselves and others.
If a child that was not loved well, he or she might develop fears and trust issue that could affect rest of their lives. As this is the first place that they expect love. If they did not receive the love and acceptance that they need then they go in to unconsciously think; I am not worthy, I m not lovable and also begins to hold part of themselves back due to these initial experiences. They are scared to fully love as when they first loved they were not given the love that they expected so they are scared to love again. There is a fear and many other things behind it. These things are hidden deep within us and we are not even aware of them till we really dig deep.
Thermostat effect in relationships
When in a relationship a person who have these fears might reach a level where they are scared to commit to that relationship fully due to this hidden fear. They may not be even aware of this and they will give any excuse they can to get out of the relationship instead of feeling this fear again. This hidden fear might not come up when they start the relationship but comes up later when they are being asked to commit more. This fear acts like a thermostat. When the heating system reached a level of heat thermostat switches off the system. It is just like that with these individuals. When they are in a relationship however long it is, all of a sudden they reach a level where they need to give more love or are given more love. This is when their inner thermostat kicks in or that fear comes out and shuts down their heat. They get scared. They want to escape the relationship.
Victimized in a relationship
They will begin to see problems that were not there before because they are now looking for ways to get out. All of a sudden they feel victimized by the person they are with. People who are in these kind of situations, always find escape paths. For them grass is always green on the other side. Creating a fantasy within their mind and living it or using it as a escape goat is big for them. They will find people who are sympathetic to their cause to support them, to encourage them to escape. They might say they love freedom so much and they don't want to be tight down to a relationship. Or even any kind of commitment to life situations.
They wonder around life jumping from one relationship to another or one situation to another seeking freedom but not really finding what they are looking for. They are looking outside of themselves for happiness and freedom. As they are scared to fully open up and let themselves out to experience that freedom. They have hidden fears that are stopping them from experiencing life. They feel victimized. As we go through this journey we understand, there is no freedom outside of us; it is all within. When we are free within, whatever happens outside of ourselves does not effects us that much.
It can affect many areas
As I mentioned above these kinds of fears that are hidden deep within can affect any area of our life not just relationships. It can effects our jobs, finances, where we live, what we do, how we do and what we want to be. They all can be effected without us knowing. So if we are in a situation where we feel like a victim, its best to dig deep to see what is hidden that is causing us this pain.
With the understanding that we create our reality, we can stop looking outside of us to blame. Also stop trying to fix things and people outside of us to correct our problems and to mach our expectations instead we can look within. If we can do this, we will be surprised how much of things within us that are holding us back from experiencing life.
Gratitude and Grace
Gratitude can be a way to bring us peace. When a person is feeling victimized, they can use gratitude to see good things in life instead of seeing only problems. There are so many things we can be grateful about but our minds don't let us see these as it find it hard to believe that there is anything outside that support us. It keeps wanting to see things that are bad and wants to escape from where we are in. This makes the fear more stronger. But gratitude can lessons the effects of fear and pain. If we work on this and continue to work with recognizing good things in life things begins to change for us. This way we open a way for grace to enter our life as we are beginning to align to life and nature.
Victim to ourselves
There are places where we cannot change much outside of us or inside of us by taking any actions but we can change our minds. This is where changing out attitude towards life situation comes to play. Changing our perception or the way we look at life can be the best solution to many situations as we are the ones who make things worse by thinking the worst of them.
When we are faced with a situation, those automatic patterns comes up. We judge and allow the emotional and mental body to take control and those programs run our life. Some of these actions we take does not come with our conscious awareness but from a state of reaction to what is. Pre-programmed patterns are so common within us. They are unconscious, subconscious and whatever that is hidden within which are controlling us. But; Are we aware of any of this? Most of the time, No! So we become victim to our selves, victim to bunch of pre-programmed patterns.
Groups choosing to be victims
When we begin to understand v/v program and its effects on us. We see this program running throughout this planet. It is not just individuals that run this program in their psyche but there are families, groups, towns, races and countries run this program. It's like whole lines of ancestry for thousands of years are trapped in this program and are participating in this way of thinking and living.
When we look at a country or race of people with issues like, civil war, poverty, religious problems etc. We ask, Why is it? Why are they allowing this to happen to them? or Why are they being treated like that? Part of it is this victim program. It is running within their psyche for a long time. So they all get together in their unconscious levels as a whole and participate in this program and create a situation for them.
Even when someone comes to power and solve the problem for them they still want to feel this victim state and the pain unconsciously. They have being living in this way for so long; now it has become a pattern for them and they are not aware of it and don't know how to be free from being a victim. Their emotional body is craving for this pain. So unconsciously they somehow other create another scenario that would allow them to feel victimized. This all happens unconsciously.
We see this over and over again around the world. Sometime, people are brave enough to chose a leader that would free them from that level of pain they were in. Then they live that freedom for a while in peace. Majority of the people cannot live for long time without this victim state and pain. So together as a country they go in to attract what is needed to break that new freedom they have. Either through a foreign influence or some way or form a puppet leader is brought up and whatever the needed lies and false promises are given. Then they go and chose that puppet for their leader. Now a puppet is in power with puppeteers running the country. All of a sudden there are problems in the country. Some sort of civil war is starting again or something major that effects the whole. Either religious, racial, or whatever the problem is, they have a problem now and they blame others for victimizing them. In reality they have created the problem for themselves.
Individuals choosing to be victims
If we go back to individual levels.. We must be vigilant and be the gate keepers to our mind and emotional body. This is becoming so true and prevalent to us as we go through our spiritual journey. When we understand the importance of this we extend this to our physical and all other multidimensional bodies.
What do I mean by be the gate keeper to our mind and emotional body. That means... do not allow unwanted thoughts, words, concepts, emotional states to our being. Be aware and keep a watch all the time with all our interactions with people and media. The amount of poison that comes out of these are a lot these days. There are so many dark concepts, programs and thought forms in media that we simply dismiss or don't pay attention to. And keep participating..Without us knowing we have poisoned our selves.
Then again we are faced with another level of poisons when we interact with people. Every relationship we have, must be to enhance and support us in this journey. Yet when we interact with certain people, we get to hear about stuff. Some are important information but others are rumors; private affairs of others and who said what about others. We have to be vigilant with all of these to not allow poison spreader to spread poison to our minds. In a situation like this we can chose to not participate with it and be the gatekeeper to our self.
Our other job is if we heard something that is harmful then drop it from our mind and not share it again with another. There is a saying in Sri Lanka, "If what you heard is not good. Then what you heard from one ear let it go out of other ear without participating."
Some of the things we write hear are common sense to us. We know we shouldn't do certain things. Yet we do it. While writing this, the thought of why do you need to write this? they all know this. You are wasting your time came to mind. But then the realization of deeper ramification of this and the cost we all pay with this habit made sense for me to write this. As Gossiping can be a form of victimization.
I am not sure if we use the word gossip any more as it has blended with part of normal day today chit chat to some. But telling rumors or talk about other persons private lives and how bad it is for them has become a normal thing among us. And also a entertainment around dinner table, or when we meet others. People think it is courteous to talk about private affairs of others and join the rumor mill. They think it is a good way to bond with the other. Some even thinks it is rude not to participate with their stories and complains.
Others enjoy doing this as there is nothing more to talk about unless they talk about others. Hearing and talking about others suffering make them feel better about themselves. This is a ego mechanism. "I am better than others and my life is better than theirs" is something the ego wants to feel as it feels small and unworthy. So it covers its fears and pains by putting someone else down. Gossiping is one way ego use to put others down.
Anyways, through gossip we spread poison and hurt each others. We don't see the enormity of what we are doing or participating till we hurt someone who is emotionally unbalanced. It is a sad thing to see someone who cannot control their emotional bodies suffer due to a gossip that was spread about them. At those times we wonder how cruel we can be to others.
Gossiping and spreading rumors can be a form of victimization. These things hurt people and yet we enjoy gossiping. If we are gossiping, it's time to ask, Why do we do it? Why are you participating in victimizing someone else?
We have a choice
Whether it is a country, group of people or individuals. We are all faced with the same question. Do you want to be a victim? It is easy to write or talk these things but to really face and not be a victim is a hard thing to do as at that point all we see are things that are against us. But we must somehow other learn to see beyond the pain and hardships. Understand that we have allowed the situation or the person to have control over us. We have given the power to outside situation or person by believing we are victims.
We can be victimize by others but we can chose to not be victims. We always have a choice. Like the person who have the choice not to listen to gossip or participate with them. Or the group or country that chose to not allow another civil war. If we see nothing that we can do about the situation then we still have a choice..We can chose to change our mind, change our attitude. Go inside and change ourselves. Like Viktor Frankl. Remember his famous quote "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Viktor Frankl who was a Holocaust survivor wrote about his experiences in death camps and how he saw freedom. In one story he wrote, he said, he felt there is more freedom with him than the people who worked on those camps. We too can chose to not be a victim and change ourselves.
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