Roles we play - August 2016
Written by Pavithra LH @ starcrystalportal.com


Learning to play roles is one among many things we have learned since we were children. We play roles according to our family, culture, society, creeds that we belong to, the work we do and in many other areas of our life. The amount of roles varies as we grow up; some we drop or grow out of while embracing another then the others we tend to hang on to till we die. Some of them are assigned to us as we grow up, like a child, a student, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, etc. These roles are there to make things easy for a society to run, a label of a sort to identify our part within the group we are part of.



Ego manipulation in roles

The problem with them is that they are based on societal, cultural and other distorted ways of thinking that have been accumulating throughout the ages. The source for these distortions come from ego and its desire to manipulate things for its advantage. And also, egos desire to identify with things to make it feel it is part of something, that it exists. This makes playing these roles extra difficult as well as painful to us as they are not there to support us and our greater self but to drag us down as we play them without our awareness. Living in this way, we invite more ego distortions to us as these roles create a separation between us and our true self. The other problem that these roles make is that they have somewhat defined rules and boundaries based on so many variables.

Distortion in roles
For example, roles that are defined for a female can be based on culture, society, religion, country, ancestry and family line, etc. Much rules, boundaries, religious super-impositions and MUST DO's are attached to these roles. It says this is how the role must be played. Can a role that was defined in a distorted belief system be aligned to the highest good for that woman in that part of the world, or that country? Most probably not. Especially in countries where patriotism or religious influence do not treat women well. Then those roles become a hindrance to the expression of the female instead of a support.

We can extend this to talk about the females that are forced to wear black clothing and are not allowed to enter their place of worship. Their roles are defined by their culture and religion. They say the women must wear black and their role is to be married and have children and possibly share their husbands with many other females. This is forced onto females in some cultures. Then in other cultures the females are married when they are a very young age and their role again is to be a wife, a mother. If a female is not married or does not have children it is considered shameful. These are all roles that are forced upon them by the culture or the religion that they are part of. Unless you have the ability to break free from them you are a slave to those roles.

If we live a sheltered life we might not understand the pain and difficulty these females go through and the amount of courage that is needed to break free from them. As they are strongly engraved in their psyche and feels like walls. On top of that there is abandonment, shame and guilt and many other mental fear patterns that are all attached to those roles. We have hurt ourselves and our children so much with these distorted roles that has been handed down for centuries. Some might say they are there for the protection of their race, religion or culture, but they are not. They are a form of control against all of us humans wherever they are. It is a form of fear that drags our spirit down. We must bring this awareness to our lives and actions so we can free ourselves from these hidden ego control mechanisms.

We have so many roles like that in this society and most people are scared to step out of them so they are forced to live them while others are eager to play them so that they feel valued and accepted by others. One of the main reasons for this is that they are unaware that they are just playing a role. Many think this is their life. All of these roles have so much garbage attached to them and the women and the men that play these roles do not understand that they have a choice.


“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become.
If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.”
 – Oprah Winfrey 



Filters that separate us
Roles, identities, sub-personalities, many patterns, programs and belief systems that we have created for ourselves are creating a separation between us and our true self as we embrace these distortions as real. We think they are us. This is like stacked filters that we place in front of our eyes which distort our ability to see clearly. In the same way these roles and other things are a distortion to our mind which inhibit our natural ability to think and express who we are in this matrix.

We are connected to our biological families and their ancestry, the culture and county etc mainly through Incarnate identity and Incarnate matrix. This matrix is the first place most of the distortions come from. On top of that, as we have mentioned above, we have created many other distortions with ego participation since we were born. These roles we play throughout our lifetime is the reason for some of these sub-personalities to arise within us and without us knowing we believe these roles to be who we are. When we do that, they are no longer just temporary things, they become real. They get energy from us and become stronger and begin to have a life of their own within us. They are demanding and manipulating us to do what they want based on the programming that they have. Ego is using all of these to expand itself within us, so it can exist and take control. We can look at all of these things as part of incarnate identity distortions.

As we have mentioned before, we get assigned these roles or we pick them up as we go along and without us knowing we have become these roles. We believe these roles are us, we say this is us and live it, so we get trapped in them and their distortions. The damage that comes from this unconscious living and believing is that without us knowing there are sub-personalities, identities and many other negative things that get created within our multi-dimensional bodies. After a while, we are no longer in control of them. Instead, they are in control of us. They run the show; they are alive to a degree and have taken possession of our bodies and mind.

Group entities
The other danger we face with them is that they are also connected to group fields. They can be connected to family, ancestry, country and planetary collective consciousness fields. These are somewhat like entities with limited conscious awareness based on the distortions of our thinking. There can be family entities, ancestral entities and so on. And on the bigger levels each of them can be connected to planetary level fields and entities. There are also archetypes that have been there for thousands of years that get plugged in to some of these roles at planetary levels. This is where it all gets tricky as now a whole lot of collective fields have an influence on that one role, personality, and identity.

A person might want to drop that role and move on but now what's within them have as a backup; they are connected to the macro of themselves and are receiving downloads and support. This is the reason sometimes people have a hard time letting go of some of the roles and their belief systems that they hold. As these things do not want to be removed and they somehow have an life of their own. These are negative energy fields and entities that don't want to die. So they rebel, they fight back as they are somewhat connected to the main one and through that get support.

Collective effect in the family
An easy example of a collective effect that is so close to us is seeing how our families behave. Sometimes, when we attempt to break free from a pattern or a role, all of a sudden we see one or more of the family members become agitated, defensive and are somehow working to stop what we are doing. They have a legitimate reason for what they are doing, or so they think, but behind the scene they are being used. They have gone unconscious and are being used by their ego and ego fears to do something to thaw our plans. If we persist, they might begin to not like us and act against us. If we are unaware of these effects, we might wonder what is going on?

Self sabotage
At other times we see this happening within us in a form of a self sabotage. There are identities, sub-personalities, and entities within you that are now working to get you to stop what you are doing. So they take you over momentary and get you to think in favour of them, to do something that sabotages your work. Sometimes you wonder what happened? How did what you were doing get blown up like that? Guess what, you have a saboteur in you.

Some of these things can be complex scenarios to understand with so much psychological trickery in between but having an overall understanding of these things can be very helpful to us as we go about dismantling them. Also remembering not to get so overwhelmed and be scared of them is a big thing. As we don't want to give them too much energy or power by believing them to be something bigger than what they are. We just have to be aware of them without paying too much attention to them. They are simply mind-created stuff and by understanding, witnessing and not giving in to them we can be free of them. Awareness of them is the key. What was hidden now is being revealed. As long as they are hidden from our awareness they have power over us but as we begin to be aware of them, as we bring the light through, they begin to fade away.

Ancestral work
If you are working on ancestral clearing or on genetic path cutting work then you can really feel the effects of family and ancestral collective entities at work. As your biological families and ancestral collectives are not going to like what you are doing and they will use the unconsciousness of the biological family members to create a lot of trouble for you. Most of the times, without their conscious awareness, your biological family member will have their own ego controlled agendas when it comes to you. Like fear of losing you, losing control over you or your love, etc. Most of them are ego fears that are hidden from their conscious awareness. These are the ones that get manipulated to create havoc in your life. If we are not aware of them then we can take these sabotaging acts quiet personally. The biological family members of course are taking everything personally as they are not aware of what's going on and their ego and ego agendas are what's running the show for them.

Many roles
As we have mentioned earlier, many of us live so many roles throughout our life; roles like, mother, father, son, daughter, grandmother, grandfather and then it extents to other relationships we hold. Then we expand out to the world and play roles based on our belief systems and what we do. Like the things we do as our employment is the next big role or roles we play in our life. Also, we play other roles without us understanding; this could be the nationality, political party, religion, certain affiliations to groups and roles that comes with them etc. As we grow up, we also play roles based on our age and the activities we participate in.

Roles are temporary
If we don't understand that we are just playing a temporary role based on the task at hand instead of taking it so personally and believing that the role is who we are. Then we lock these roles into us by creating personalities and identities through them. Then they become another layer that covers our true self, our authenticity, our true nature of who we are. This hinders us from truly experiencing life as well as expressing our true self as these roles are in our way. We forget who we are inside, where we came from and what our true purpose is here when we believe these roles to be who we are. The other danger is that we unknowingly take these roles to be our purpose in life. For most people, there is nothing else to do other than to fill these roles throughout their whole life. Then whatever these roles are built upon, be it a belief system, distorted concepts and thought patterns, obligations, and societal rigidity becomes part of their life. Ego loves these roles as it can use them for its advantage, for its existence and expansion.

How we hold on to roles and how they abandon
We simultaneously play many roles, some are stronger than others and are more prominent in our minds. For example: if it is a mother or father role then the person who plays it believes it to be their life. So they will live this role till they die forgetting that at one point they need to let it go or at least partially let go of this role and let the children grow up. But the person who plays this role doesn't understand this concept at all as they have believed and lived this role to a such an extent that they think this is who they are. So they try to change and influence the life of their children even when they are at ages 30, 40 or even 50. They don't want to let this go because without this role they are lost. Some even ask, what am I to do now that all the children have left the nest? They feel that they have been somewhat abandoned by their children as they can't play the mother or the father role like they use to.

From one point of view, it is not that the children have abandoned them but the roles have abandoned them. But they are not aware of these roles as 'roles'; they believe them to be who they are. I am a mother or I am a father, they say. They would ask, How can I let go of being a mother, or father? This is who I am. But is that so?

We are simply believing in an psychological image that we have built for ourselves and we live in it giving it life and becoming it. But it is another frame on our mind that is all. Nothing more. Of course, the mind has created a sub-personality and an energy form for this image in our multi-dimensional bodies but that is not who we truly are. What we see is a temporary image built by the mind; a false image or a self.

But the person who is living this psychological lie doesn't understand this. They believe this to be true for them so they fight to keep it. There is fear. They are scared to let go or the correct expression is their ego is scared to let go, so they use what they know to keep the children with them as much as they can.

This is when they use ego manipulation tricks. Guilt tripping, blaming, doing things so the children are dependent on them or the classic poor me or victimization to get their attention. Some parents unconsciously manipulate their children so they can still be part of their life without knowing they are sabotaging their child's future.

This example is about parents who are not aware that they are just playing a role. But this is just one role we play among many. We all heard of or have experienced people who play some roles more than others. For example a person might take the role of their job as the most important thing in their life and live it. So when they come home they are still the lawyer, the teacher, the accountant, the business man etc. They act like that with their family members and treat them as such, completely forgetting who they are. In this case they have lesser priority for their other role as a parent or partner. If we are not aware that what we are doing at work is simply performing a task, filling a temporary role that has been asked of us then we take that role to be us. This is the case with the lawyer, the teacher or the business man who negotiates something with their children or partner. In some cases others around them ask them to remember who they are but what they are asking them is to remember is their other role not who they really are. Now we can see, how important for us to remember who we are and be aware of these temporary roles or we will get lost in them. At the end, all distorted roles abandon us someway or other.

Can we live without these roles?
One can ask that question. But what about the love we have for our children, we have a responsibility for them, we cannot just abandon them. We must love and take care of our children, so we must do our part, play our role as parents. This is where the love, care, responsibility and ego attachments and fears trick us. It is not that we are abandoning our children and letting go of these roles but what we are after here is to understand the distortions within these roles and the ego loop holes that create a psychological prison for our minds if we are not aware that these are simply temporary roles we play. Also, the love we have for our children is not gone but with it, a conscious awareness of who we truly are comes to us. With that we are no longer letting ego fears, possessive attachments and distortions to get us through these distorted roles. Instead, from behind these temporary roles, we allow our true self to come through and express itself. In this way, our true self is in the driver's seat, not a distorted role. So we can love more and express more in what we do.

Roles separate us from who we are

Through ego identities and these roles that we play, we alienate ourselves from the world around us and we don't stop there either, we alienate ourselves from our true self as well. This is another way we separate ourselves from oneness. We feel this alienation with everyone. We don't feel at home with anyone or any place. We long to be home; there is a feeling of loneliness and emptiness with it. This is due in part to our role playing as we have forgotten who we are and live through these roles.

When we don't know who we are, don't know where we came from and what our true purpose here on this planet is then we become lost in the world. We feel the alienation, the lost feeling with everything and everyone. So we strive to live more roles, accumulate things to make us feel more whole and without knowing we create more alienation for ourselves. We believe the purpose of our life is to fulfill the purposes of the roles that we play without knowing our true purpose.

As the life unfolds, cycles come and go, everything has its time and when it is done it is gone. So are the roles, they come and go. We forget or don't understand these facts, so we hang on to them thinking they are our life. Ultimately these roles abandon us. A person who feels alienated from themselves and others feels a deep pain within and are reluctant to live their life fully. The reason for depression and many other psychological problems might be that we have forgotten who we are as we no longer have an anchor to our true self, our authentic self.

Freedom through spiritual awareness
In some of the Asian cultures, when a person gets older they begin to seek spiritual awareness and alignment through whatever methods they have. Some read, some do meditations, while others go to the temple. Whatever it is, it is somewhat a practice which has been going on for generations. Now that they don't have lot of responsibilities and have more time they begin to seek a stronger connection with their spirit. Through these practices, they begin to understand the nature and facts of life. With that, some understand the bondage of roles and begin to slowly let them go allowing their true self to come out. They now have a new purpose in life.

But others who do not have these kinds of spiritual awareness suffer a lot as they grow older as most of the roles that they have played have abandoned them. They feel useless. The parent role they played is no longer needed, so is the role that they played at the job and many other roles that they had are no longer there. So they feel abandoned in many ways. To their egos, this is a difficult thing to deal with so it looks for ways to keep the roles or seeks new ways to create ones. This can be another reason why some of the people when they get older become bitter and depressed.

Of course, we cannot ask anyone who is not aware of this to let go of the roles they are playing. Especially our parents and family members. Most fight to keep these roles as they are what makes them; so asking them to let them go or loosening the bond to these roles is like asking them to remove a limb. They will not understand. What we have written is for someone who is awakened and is wanting to free themselves of ego and its grip on them can only consider letting go of these roles or lessening their attachment to them.

As we look at these facts, we can really understand why how detrimental it is to our spiritual evolution to not take roles so seriously, and to be aware that they are simply temporary roles we play from time to time. This way we are no longer letting those distortions enter our fields as well as be free of another trap of ego. We can define what we want to do with these roles that are expected of us from society while allowing our true self to take part in them. We can be bring our true self into the driver's seat as we perform the tasks that are expected of us.