Changing our way of thinking can bring us peace
Things that have been happening for the last few months begged us to look at our life in a different way and see if we can be peace with everything that is going on around us. The conclusion is YES we can, but we have to change our way of thinking and let go of the false beliefs and stories that we have in our mind telling us that this is how things should be. Her is what we are figuring out...
Since we were children we picked up patterns and concepts that allowed us to make an image or fantasy of how things should be for us. These are mind made complex scenarios and patterns; so when things that happen in our life that are not in alignment with these scenarios or patterns or stories, we begin to create resistance to those things that are foreign or new. Most of the times these are done unconsciously and even when it is brought in to our attention we don't want to see it and change our way of thinking because these set patterns and believes are hard to break and our mind and the Ego fights within to keep things as they are.
Let's say you don't like some things that your partner or co-worker does, this might be clearing their throat or not smiling all the time or anything like that. When we experience this, those hidden unconscious patterns in our mind compare them against this action and resist it as it is not align to its set patterns and rules so we feel agitated or not happy with the person. Or you submitted an article and it was not accepted by the paper and you are annoyed by this and on top of this, Ego is screaming to get recognition and punish the others for this injustice, or the boss at work is not very smart and a happy guy and it is irritating you. These are patterns we have in our mind that is resisting the things and people around us because they do not mach our expected reality or the fantasy how the things should be for us......
All this is something that we created for ourselves; what happens outside should not matter to us but we resist many things in our life because of these unconscious patterns and fantasies in our head. To be free from these and be at peace with our self and be happy, our job is to be conscious of these and be okey with them, meaning accept them for what they are, and surrender to that acceptance. If your partner is clearing their throat, you can accept it for what it is and surrender to that fact. This way you release the resistance within, then if you want to do something about it you can do it later from that point of view as you are no longer annoyed with her or him and there is no more resistance that is fueling this.
As I mentioned above, most of the things in our life are self created problems as we are not willing to be self aware of what's going on within. If we can pay attention, then many of these resistance patterns can be neutralized by you surrendering to what is and witnessing them for what they are. Some of the resistance come from Ego as its position is threatened, then it is our job to pay attention to what it is wanting and understand what is going on instead of reacting and hurting ourselves and people around us.
If we want peace then we cannot create boundaries or rules around our life saying this is how things should happen for me in the future and then expect them to be that way without any deviation from that set rule. This is a sure way to be unhappy as we know that the life does not bring what we wants instead it brings situations and people that continues to force us to change, learn and grow. So set rules and expectations without this awareness takes us out of peace, happiness and this moment.
This is why some of the old teachings talk about nothing outside of us can hurt us or don't give your power away to events and people. When we resist what is and react, we create entanglements with people and gets in to the drama, with this we lose our power and our peace and this moment. We can't change the world to match our template of how they should be that is what Ego wants but we can change our way of thinking so that how the world and things are does not affect our peace and happiness.