When someone did something to hurt you and your family or friends, you face a challenge of going against their wishes to heal your wounds. Most hold on to what happened, they like the wound and don't want healing to happen. Whatever the event was, it threatened their ego's image that it held and it is angry, it wants revenge, it wants the other go down, hard. The empty shell that ego held had a small crack with this event and the person responsible for this must pay, it says. It made an enemy out of this event and it won't let go.
This is how ego perceive the event and the person is unaware of the inner mechanics of how this works but for them they feel threatened, they in this case is ego in the driver seat. So they are looking for ways to tarnish the image of the other person and find ways to get back at the person.
Mean while you feel the pain but understand what has happened and know that the ego within you is hurt and you not are letting ego takes the lead in your mind. In fact you are looking for ways to forgive, let go of the pain and bring peace to you. You are bringing more and more awareness to the event and stay in the moment as ego complains. You are willing to mend relationships, forgive and move on but you have a huge challenge against you. The people around you do not want you to forgive, do not want you to have a relationship with the person that apparently hurt you. In some cases this is where we are with situations and relationships. We have to face our own inner distortions and others as well. It's a challenge to go against the wishes of the people around you. They stand on your way.
They ask you, don't you have shame? How can you forgive someone like that? What's wrong with you? That person hurt you, you must ever let them in. They seems to have completely forgotten or unaware of humanness, that people make mistakes, that who we are and what's the purpose of our existence. And they want to live their lives holding grudges, hurting others and having enemies in their life. In find, they find it enjoyable to talk about the other in a negative way and hurt their image, finding faults in their character and somehow or other make the other pay for what they have done.
In all these cases the ego is the one who got hurt and it is the one that is seeking revenge but we are so unaware of this fact, we think ego personality is who we are and we are giving in to this life style unaware of the consequences it brings to us. Living a spirit driven life among these kind of personalities is a challenge. Many ask frequently, including myself, how do you deal with them?, as they are a force against spirit driven life.
But there is a another fact that we rarely see. Life brings us people and situations to make us more aligned to sprit. So these are challenges, lessons that we must face; lean the lesson and move on. This is how life works, these are facts. If we don't see it this way we get hurt. We cannot personalize the event and say that it is a good or bad event. It is just an event that was brought in by life and we are to face it and move on. Everybody gets what they need, and that's how it works. We are not victims of the event, or the life. Otherwise we get dragged in to human drama and we think we are victims of life.
We all find our own ways to deal with situations, but we must remember it is all ego. Patience, understanding where they are coming from, seeing ego traps, finding neutral communication or non threatening communication so the ego do not feel challenged by us, explanations that might make the ego feel less threatened, finding peaceful resolution among people. Best way is to not let others ego feel threaten by you and your decision. However standing for what we believe and not letting go of our ideals and believe is a must. I say for all us, whatever the neutral method we choose we must not give up our way of life what we are building with eternal spirit. Those teachings and living must be in the forefront of our lives whatever we do.