Taking it personally

When something happened in life, a common saying that people close to us tell us is "Don't take it personally." Most of the time we say how can I not take this personally; this person or event has hurt me and it shouldn't have happened or they shouldn't have done that. From several points of view, our reasoning is true. But, have we thought about what we are doing to ourselves with this thinking? We complain, feel victimized and get hurt.

Our emotional bodies take a hit out of the event and we add another layer of sadness and unhappiness to us. We feel betrayed by the person or the event. But do we need to do all this? Can there be another way to look at it? Are we really being hurt by this event or person? or Are we allowing us to do that to ourselves? Where is our power with all of this? Have we given it to the person or event? Sometimes, when we have a moment of clarity or we are so tired of feeling this way, we begin to ask these questions.

When we look at all this from the point of where we are simply a witness to the unfolding of our life on earth in a human form as spirits, we can see that most of it are some form of drama that we have created with the influence of ego. This seems to be a bold statement to say, but if we really dig deep within, a level where the ego is not that involved with our thinking, we might see this is true for us. Most of the events that we encounter in our life, is somehow or other an outer manifestation of our inner reality. How can we manifest a problem for our life is what comes to mind. But from our own experiences, we have figured out that we have unconsciously allowed these to come to our life. We have somehow or other participated in creating the issue that we are facing now. We must come to this realization if we want to really free from anything. We are responsible for our own life. From this place of realizing and thinking, we can go forward. This is the only way we can surrender to the fact of this and then find a way to solve the issue without resisting and feeling victimized by it.

In this month's (July) newsletter, we addressed the issue of ego identities and why they are created and their effects on us. This seems to be the key to understanding why we create so many issues in our life as these ego identities take over us and make us believe that what we think is really us, but that is not the case. Ego identities or selves and all the sub-personalities attract these events, they are the culprits in creating these events for us. Most of us as not aware of this and continue to allow these identities and personalities to exist within as well as feed them by letting them take over us. As I mentioned, all of this happens without most of our awareness. We are simply the unconscious participants. That is why we need to wake up, understand what is going on and be present, be aware of what's going on within us. There is so much chatter and unconscious thinking going in our head and we only get a glimpse of it once in a while.

Coming back to realizing that these ego identities are the ones that take over us and they are the ones that feel threatened or victimized by events that happen. Our eternal spirit simply witnesses all of this and does not feel threatened by anything. These identities are the ones that take things personally. They feel offended and then complain or gets angry as they feel that the event did not go as they want. They say in our mind that we are right and the others are wrong with a commentary of how that is. There is an enemy thinking with events and people. The love that we have for people and life is not allowed to be expressed as these identities want to see everything as lower than they are. Things and people are simply objects to be used the way they want. So when things don't go well, these personalities or identities feels threatened as they only exist through being in control of events or people, so they have something to attach to; something that defines them. When that does not happen, they feel that they are losing themselves. That is the reason they take things personally. It is not us that take things personally, it is these ego identities.

So when we are in a situation and things are not going well, watch how the personality, this identity take over and feel victimized by the situation. Observe it and know what is going on. So you are not being controlled again and gets dragged into its drama. You are an eternal being, you do not feel upset over some silly thing that is being made to look like a huge event. Everything has cycles, whatever this is, it too shall pass. Allow the continuation to happen, surrender to the facts of life and release the resistance to the event and people. Observe the event instead of allowing these identities to feed and grow in you.

The more you are aware and observe without resistance, the easier for you to let go of these identities and be free from them. The question that comes to us is, How can things go well if we don't take them personally? Don't we lose that connection when we do not take things personally? Actually, when we don't take things personally and are not attached to things or people that much. It becomes much easier for us to interact with people and events. We easily let go of people's weak points, their unconscious behaviors. We don't get threatened by people or how they are. We become easy people to be around and to interact with instead of judgemental ego maniacs and drama queens. And for us, we feel, there is a load that is off our shoulder and there is more freedom with things. Also, the boundaries we have created with things begin to collapse allowing us to be more loving towards each other.

Next time when something happens, give it a go, don't take it personally! and you will notice the difference.

Love
Pavithra