Keeping our individuality and uniqueness is a must to freedom - November 2015.

Post date: Nov 17, 2015 9:56:33 PM

Keeping our individuality and uniqueness is a must to freedom November 2015.

Written by Pavithra LH @

Big questions

Since we were born most of us begin to build a mind-set that is stemming from a false belief of separation where the feeling of we are alone, we are small, and helpless and there in nothing out there that we can really relate to comes into play.

The question of who am I?, what am I?, where did I come from? what or where do I belong to? and why am I here? is something we ask within and continue to seek for answers all our lives and this is the same questions that confused us when we were born. At that stage we didn't understand much and that feeling of loneliness, confusion and the fears that arise from it created cracks in our mind allowing these false systems to seep in.

Then we begin to learn about our self and the world from the people and things around us. This includes parents, family members, society, schools , religions, history and many others things we pick up from many avenues. Most of these ideas, concepts and thoughts we learned came from those confused mindsets where people around us are asking the same questions and basing their lives on those root fears and confusions.

Mechanical life

This type of thinking holds lack and limitation and the idea that we are alone in this universe and there is nothing else out there. The big bang is an accident and nothing conscious or higher is out there and we are just part of a machine that needs fixing or replacing and that is all there is. This thinking goes deep into many layers and levels but the main thoughts are that there is no higher order and the universe, the world, the planet and animals are all just there. There is no higher consciousness to them so we can do what we want with them. The compassion and being part of everything is not something that is understood. Survival is built in to this way of mechanical or artificial thinking. This is sort of a left brain thinking without the right brain which brings in the spirit and the wisdom that is within us.

This mechanical way of thinking, where the separation is the root cause of the concepts and thoughts, where the being believes that they are alone and there is nothing else; they have to survive with what they have. -- me, mine comes out of it. The ownership, boundaries, control, and separating things in to small parts to understand or control is prominent. Also the lack and limitation thinking as there is not enough for all, so the desire to control and own as well as greed to have more comes out of it. Then this way of thinking begins to create more and more separated thinking with everything around them. The fear is the main culprit as survival is created from it.

The part that we are missing is the spirit and for awhile religion brought that through for us, but over time most of the concepts got distorted and began to confuse us rather than help us. This gave the spiritless artificial mindsets more avenues in to our belief systems.

When we learn and grow up in these kinds of mindsets, we are continually confused and not aware of our greater self or our spirit. Moments of connection happen and that too confuses us as we wonder what it is and how to get back to that space more. So we approach everything in a certain form of fear.

Ego begins to rise

The smallness arises from the separated thinking which makes us fragile, and the ego is using this fragile state to build a fortress within us to control and protect us without any cause to ourselves or others and in turn it hurts our spirit. This is the artificial self that gets created due to this feeling of separation. We are not aware that we are building this self within us or allow it to be created within our mind and it contains all the negative beliefs, patterns, concepts, stories and many other hidden things. The main culprits seem to be separation and then fear, confusion, guilt, shame and many other strong negative patterns that arise with it. This artificial self grows with us and becomes a part of us or most of the time takes over us. This is part of the mind control as well, as this has the habit of going back to the past; it seems to have an anchor in the past to access all the negativity that was stored with us. Also it accesses the pain body that was created with the same way of thinking and these two parts control us through our life and as we grow up their effects begin to overwhelm us. On top of this planetary and other effects get added on as we are part of this planet and solar system which makes the effects more difficult for all of us.

Meanwhile our spirit continues to tap us on the shoulder to get us online and to bring us back to light, to remind us who we are. Where we came from and why we are here.


This is the most difficult part to deal with for many of us. As the fear and many other negative belief systems and concepts have created superiority or inferiority or sometimes both ways of thinking within the individual. All these have created many personas to avoid the pain, fear and confusion the person is continually experiencing. But we don't know we are in fear or pain, these are mostly not part of our conscious levels for us to see or access. These are hidden within deep parts of our mind, also called the unconsciousness.

What we think and justify to our self and what is really going on within us is sometimes a completely different way of thinking. We need to really unravel this to find out what is going on otherwise we will continue to think from those outer shells that we have created for ourselves; the personas, and there are many. These are the lipstick and make-up that we put on our self to make us think we are different and after a while we forget that they are there and take on those fake personas as real.

When we come across a situation or person, based on our way of thinking, if we are not aware of our self we begin to create another persona to handle the situation as we don't know how to be real to ourselves any more as there are so many fake personas that are running the show.

Small self at work

Sometimes these weaknesses within us get triggered even in small incidents. For example, if someone did not smile with us or forgot to say hi; we might not even have a second thought to think that there is a chance that the person was pre-occupied in something and didn't even notice us. For us that is enough to bring in the fear, pain, shame and many other negative patterns within us showing us how fragile our mind and emotional state is and that it's time to pay attention to this, but instead of seeing it for what it is and working on ourselves, we go in to instant action. Whatever was programmed within us comes out and we go on a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions. And that goes on for a while and that poison that comes out through that action we either store within us or explode and poison the others around us.

Observe to bring in the light

If we sit back and observe our self, we will notice what we made no sense at all and we just wasted our energy. Then again we can go back a bit more and look at our self and we can say it was another experience we had while in a form, there is no good or bad in it, just what it is. From the oneness or is-ness point we can choose to have any kind of experience while we are in a form.

I feel we took this form to experience the form in a more expanded view of oneness, more of a joyous life then a separated thinking. In that case we can chose to change what we are and have that experience, and that means we pay attention to what is going on with us and what we are thinking and feeling in each moment so that in these moments we are witnessing and healing what is going on within us. Another way of looking at it is to find the artificial programs we are running while we are here and free ourselves from them. To do that we need to witness these moments. If we are not conscious of these moments and just go on auto pilot then we cannot be free of them. When we bring in the light and the truth of who we are these things cannot exists within us anymore.

Living our life not someone else's...

As we have grown up believing and accepting things that are not in full alignment to our greater self we are not able to fully cope with the situations and people in our life. The lipstick and make-up we are wearing does not do us any good but confuses us more. This distorted human condition causes us to miss the point of knowing who we are as human beings and forgetting to truly live our lives. It's interesting to notice that people seem to think that the life of another is better than theirs, for them the grass is always greener on the other side. So they are doing their best to compete with the others and adapting to the other person's lifestyle while not realizing that they are losing their individuality and their uniqueness as a human being.

Whether the person is holding an inferiority or superiority type of personality, both of these are stemming from low self esteem situations, with lack of self respect and fears within. However hard they try to cover it up, they seem to show this to the world continually expressing it through their actions and words whether they are aware of this or not. Many have self-esteem issues around other humans and do their best to show that they are not threatened by others. They make a point to compete with others while being jealous or hateful or angry with themselves and people around them.

Imitation is suicide

We can discuss a strong case of what can happen to a person when they are not sure of themselves and begin to live the life through others. What they secretly do is fight so hard to be the other person. It's not just one person they are competing with, they have many people to compete with and want to be; envy is poisoning their soul but they are not even aware of the harm they are doing to themselves. They pull from everyone else, they copy and paste, and create artificial personas and selves, as I mentioned before just like putting lipstick and make-up on. Then they put on this fake face or persona and think that they are the fake face. They are forgetting who they truly are. When that fake face or the persona is not enough and when they feel threatened by another, they quickly adapt to that person's whatever they feel that they are missing and create another fake persona and that now become their new persona, until they meet another person.

Also they buy things and change their lifestyles to match the persona to keep up with the joneses, building many more layers of confusion to their overall being as well as now they are not sure what their true desires are. This pattern continues throughout their life creating massive amounts of artificial mind sets that are so foreign to their spirit and their natural existence. This never ends and pretty soon they have forgotten who they are; while forgetting their individuality, they are jumping from one fake persona to another. Not knowing what they are losing every time when they take on or copy others without thinking whether any of this is in alignment to their true nature. This kind of thinking and living is adapted by many of us to a certain level even though not as strong as mentioned here.

Keeping individuality

When we talked about imitating others, we are not talking about how humans learn and adapt to change. Most of us learn by watching, comparing and adapting to the environment we are in. But in this case the person has the ability to think for themselves and understand what they truly need to change to be part of the new environment. They have the choice to pick and choose what they need and see if what they chose is in alignment to their overall growth while keeping their individuality, values and who they are so they are comfortable within themselves as they change and adapt to the new environment they have arrived at. If the person is not careful enough in their choices then they harm themselves, but through this experience they learn and know what works and what does not work for them and can be more aware of their choices next time.

When we keep our individuality, our uniqueness, we are fulfilling our part as a individual piece of the puzzle. We are all part of the oneness but also we are individuals expressing ourselves uniquely...Like a rainbow each color is beautiful but all part of the rainbow.

Artificial mindset

When we look at the opposite to keeping their uniqueness which is constantly imitating others, we notice that they are not aware of themselves and don't have the ability to think for themselves. They have become a slave to their ego and limited perceptions, beliefs, patterns and fears. This is an extremely dangerous situation to the person and their spirit, as the more that ego is in control the less the spirit has the ability to truly express and be who they are in form. The person's true nature is being covered with fake personas and fake living styles, which have created a fake person. They are holding and continually nurturing a fake mindset while being possessed by their ego. There is no individuality in them as they are constantly striving to be something else they are not. They have lost control and gave in to something they are not.

Losing touch

They are slowly becoming separate from the nature and oneness as they are continually creating separation with the artificial world or the reality that they are creating around them. Their minds run so fast trying to catch up and be something that they are not and they cannot stand still in one place. They need things to distract themselves as being with themselves is a scary thing for them. They no longer know who they are and the whole fake thing is confusing to their being. They are easily bored, they move from one thing to another so fast and they continually seek something to entertain themselves. It could be either talking to someone about mundane things, a phone to chat on, or text or internet to see something or tv to watch. If this is not the case then food or drugs are there or some activity to "DO". "BEING" is a foreign concept to them and they look at it as something weird and think that the person is lazy to "BE" instead of "DOING" something. This way of thinking is a distortion to the natural way of life.

Trust our self and let go of the artificial mindset

As I mentioned above, this kind of artificial mindset is not something natural to us; we have allowed this to happen to us without our knowing. Now it's time we notice this within us and begin to be aware of all the things that have lead us to take on this artificial, fake person who has lost touch with nature and natural creation. When we begin to notice this within us, it is an extremely painful thing for a person to go through. We must be gentle with ourselves....this is not the time to go hating things and people around us for doing this to us or hating ourselves. This is the time to take RESPONSIBILITY! Learn to think for ourselves and take swift actions to remedy this situation. There might be outside forces at work but if we do not allow them in, then they cannot harm us. Knowing this we can claim our sovereignty as a natural being; so we can free ourselves from the prisons that we have created. The main action that we should take is that we must begin to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. This is something very foreign to some of us as we are trained to ask for instructions and to follow someone else and not be responsible for our own actions.

Breaking the family patterns

One of the big things many of us have to go through is to break free from the beliefs and patterns we took from our family and ancestry. This could be negative patterns that the whole family held for a long time and we must have the ability to see if that is in alignment to us. There are so many patterns and beliefs that we are not even aware of the magnitude of them all. If we pay attention we can see or someone close to us will point some of them out to us. We must be grateful and open-minded to see them instead of denying them. Do you remember someone telling you, you talk or act like your mother or father? If what you are doing or saying is something positive then that is great, if it is not the case then we have to find the source of why we are holding that pattern and release it.

There are so many good things we can learn from our families also there are things we really need to pay attention to and drop immediately. No one else can do this for us so it's up to us to take the responsibility for ourselves to free us.

Role playing among family members is very common to us as most of us are coming from some level of dysfunctional family situations. Many parents are not aware of how to raise a child so the child grows up with distorted beliefs, patterns and many hidden fears but most of all they are deprived of love. When this happen they begin to play roles with each other or with people around them to fulfill their needs. This is when they begin to unconsciously align themselves to distorted archetypes and play those roles.

Bring in the light and truth

The more we learn to think for ourselves and trust ourselves, the more we begin to release this artificial mindset that we have picked up along our way. This opens up many doors and opportunities for us to see things differently and then slowly we begin to see the truth and know the truth. This comes in many layers, one layer of truth and then another and then another as we grow and expand our awareness of our selves.

The more truth we know and live, the more we get to know it and with that we can bring this truth and the light we hold to situations in our lives and with patience we can see the difficult scenarios breaking away from us.

With these experiences we can begin to practice the witness or the observer consciousness where we hold the truth and be there completely with no judgments towards the situation or anyone else including ourselves. This is the ultimate weapon in collapsing phantom or artificial thinking and creations.

Copying mechanisms and denial

This one is a hard one to find within as well as people around us as most of us do this unconsciously to avoid seeing the truth. There might be a core fear or some negative pattern hidden within this. When we use copying mechanisms and denying, we pick and choose the truth and the situations we want to see and then we tell ourselves stories to convince to ourselves that what we are thinking and doing is absolutely correct. Whenever the truth is brought in or a question is asked about that truth, the person will deny that truth and tell us that what we are telling is not true or they don't want to believe what we are saying. Even when we have proof and remind them of certain situations, they will still deny what we bring to the surface.

It is hard to see someone close to you going through this as well as it is laborious to get them to see the truth as they have already closed their minds. They might even believe that you are manipulative and are trying to shake them of their confidence and the truth that they believe. These are deep issues and need to be addressed as soon as possible as they can lead the person to make choices that might not be in alignment to their highest good. But getting them to understand this is difficult; so in a case like that we must witness the situation without judging the person and allow the God consciousness to come through and heal the situation.

Archetypes and role-playing

If we pay attention to ourselves we might begin to see patterns and roles we have seen in others while growing up playing out in our own lives. We might be playing these roles that are parts of negative archetypes with anyone in our life but it might be more noticeable with our partner, friend, co-worker or family member. There are so many negative archetypes we might be playing that are stemming from many unconscious patterns and fears that we have picked up from our childhood. When we were young we seen life with a limited perception and whatever event happened in our life, how we understood it and what kind of patterns and fears we created consciously and unconsciously, it was hard to know at that time as we were still figuring things out for ourselves.

When we grow up without us knowing these patterns exist within, we begin to tap into one or many of the collective unconscious archetypes and start to play these roles in our lives without us knowing. Most of these are negative archetypes and until something drastic happens to show us what's going within us we might not understand how harmful these roles are to us.

Co-dependency relationships

These kinds of relationships are very common among us as we are not that aware of co-creative relationships. When we are going through our evolution process, we will come to a point where we no longer can keep these co-dependent relationships that are based on giving up our individuality to play a distorted role. When they are being brought up for us to understand why we play these roles with others or why we created these distortions and the problems that are stemming from them for ourselves then we realize that most of them have a purpose and they are supportive to us for a while and when they are done they are done and we must be willing to learn why we created them and let those roles go.

Sometimes we are so tired of playing the roles and we want to end it, we want it to go away or we want to run away from the role. For some who are not committed to healing themselves or ignorant to the facts of these pattern, the grass is always greener on the other side. They tend to put the blame on the other person as they do not want to see the truth of why they have agreed to play the role with the other. They want to escape the relationship and want to run away and might even create another relationship that they think might solve their problems and bring them happiness and joy.

Victim victimizer (V/V Game)

It is hard for them to take responsibility for their actions and they feel victimized by the situation and the person. This is really common as we are so used to playing victim/victimizer games with each other. To play a role of victimizer, there needs to be a victim, if the person is not willing to play the role then there cannot be any victim/victimize roles or programs in us or the planet.

If we do not take responsibility for our actions and figure out why we play these roles with each other then when we leave the relationship we will attract another person to play the same role with. We cannot fight them as they are unconscious patterns being played unless we are willing to see them for what they are and free from them.

Fence sitters

If the person is not willing to take responsibility and see and face their inner issues then they tend to sit on the fence and not fully commit to healing themselves or the relationship they are in. They can give many excuses why they don't want to be in the relationship. Most common is the freedom factor. They admit that they want a relationship but they do not want to be bound to the relationship because their freedom is limited. This is fine if the person is free of their inner fears and patters. If not, then the person is hiding their inner fears in the name of freedom and they also do not want to heal themselves or the relationship.

The person must be willing to see if there are hidden fears and patterns that are stopping them from committing to a relationship where they can create something new together. This is where the transparency can come in to really show them the truth of what they are really after.

As I mentioned above we get in to these roles and relationships to fulfill something that we are missing. It could be the love we missed from our mother and we wanted that from the other person. Or it could be the strong father figure we wanted so we created that role with someone else. If we are not conscious enough we play these roles throughout our whole life time, but if we are becoming self-aware and begin to expand our awareness then these things can't go on forever hidden from us. They will somehow or other come to the surface to be witnessed and healed. When the pain begins to come we need to be conscious of what it is and why we created them and let those roles go so that we are not forcing or expecting others to fulfill our needs.

Co-creative relationships

Also we must know that when we say we don't want that relationship, what we are really saying is that we don't want to play that distorted role with that person. We are not saying we don't want that person, but the role. Of course there are times in which both are the same, but if we are not aware that this is the case, we might be missing a chance to move in to a more fulfilling co-creative relationship with that person if we work to heal this within us.

This does take some time as the pain from the past role playing has hurt both parties and they must be willing to see that as part of the price they had to pay to play the role and must be willing to let go of the past and the pain to create something new. If we have the ability to witness what is being dismantled within these issues then they can be easily resolved.

To do that both parties must be aware of the situation and have the strength and willingness to go forth and heal this, where the higher consciousness can come down and participate in creating something new for them. This takes patience and willingness as well as much compassion towards each other and ourselves. Also, we need to be able to have the humility, forgiveness and understanding and many more values that we have grown within us these days comes in to play as well. If we have the ability to do this then we can truly see and experience miraculous relationships.

Love relationships

Love relationships that are based on co-dependency is something that is being shaken these days as we are being asked to witness what we have participated in together and are being asked if we are ready to learn and heal. If both parties are willing to see the truth of why they have created these roles then they get a chance to heal themselves in a great capacity. If they are both self-aware beings then they have the advantage to see this for what it is and use the foundation they have built together and the understanding they have towards each other to heal these distortions within them and move on to building co-creative relationships. If they are not willing then the relationship will end.

Family relationships

Family relationships that are based on co-dependency as well as many levels of role playing are being brought up to be questioned and healed as well. When this happens it is extremely painful as the other party might not be consciously aware of why this is happening and might think that they are being victimized by others. They might act out by bringing blame, anger and many other emotional dramas.

Many levels to relationship healing

There are many levels of healing to any relationship and with family it's the same with extra baggage. When we get the call from spirit and we begin to wake up, most of us have to deal with the family situation where they are not willing to let us go. They begin to see changes within us and feel that what we are talking and thinking is threatening their way of life. You are rocking the boat now and they don't like it. They are scared for us and what they are losing and they want things to be the same.

Based on our conscious awareness at that time, we might deal with family in many ways. If we are at the awakening level, we might not be as aware as we are now. Then when the explanations are not working we might act out or we might get entangled with their dramas or even sometimes we might have to fight our way out of them.

If you are with a partner and both of you are in the process of healing, then the blame gets shared and the love relationship is being challenged from the outside source as the family now looks at the partner as a threat. They are scared that the partner might bring in a thinking that is not supportive to their child and they want the relationship to end and so that might free their child of this influence.

When this happens we must understand that they are coming from a place of pain and fear and they are not seeing the partner as a support system, they are seeing them as a threat. When the person begins to free themselves from the control of their parents, this comes in as a shock to their parents as they did not expect this to happen. Now their child is doing things that are not supportive to family tradition or their way of thinking and it is a great challenge for them.

All this create schisms and much emotional pain and heartache to all parties as we are dealing with the situation with the awareness we have at that time. There is no right or wrong to this, it is what it is, and that needs to happen. This kind of situation can bring in lessons to all of us as the relationship is shaken and all parties are being asked to question their thinking. This begins to start a healing process for us and sometimes hidden motives and agendas come out to be seen as well.

When we are more aware of the consciousness healing process then we begin to see this in a new light. At that time we must be willing to see what roles we are playing with them and if they are truly in alignment to our highest good or are they based on greed, deprivation of love, fears, deception, trickery and many other distorted patterns and beliefs we held within us. We must know that we have created these roles and problems for a reason, so there is no point blaming our selves or anyone else as most of them are hidden, unconscious patterns that need to be found and addressed.

If we can witness them for what they are without judgement or getting entangled in the drama, then we begin to be able see the people and situation with new eyes. With that truth in hand, we can bring in compassionate and loving resolutions that support all parties which will lead to healing family and blood lines.


This is something we all can use at this time. If both parties are willing and compassionate and understanding of each other and willing to heal and grow, then transparency is the key to solving issues as we can really show ourselves to the other person without being scared of shut down or being taken advantage of. When this happens sometimes the other party might be shocked to hear this truth, in that case we need to give them time to figure things out. When the truth is brought through this way, then the relationship can bloom as there are no trust issues, betrayals and putting the other person down or taking advantage of them when they are down. There must be compassion, empathy, humility and most of all patience to heal each other.

If one person is willing to have transparency and the other person is not, then there can be problems; so be aware where we can use transparency and where we must use caution. See what the motives are behind the transparency we are bringing in to see if it is for the good of the relationship then that will bring healing for all parties.

Final thoughts

Also in my experience, if we have started our spiritual awakening that process is not something that we can stop when we get tiered and want to be free from all of this or run away from our problems. It will continue whether we like it or not. Our spirit, or our greater self or God self whatever we chose to call it, will not allow us to give up. It will continue to find ways to bring us in alignment to our highest good as that is the main purpose of us being here on this planet at this time. This might include bringing relationship issues, financial problems, plans not working, things going down the drain, accidents, past issues being brought up or anything that needs to be brought to our attention to bring us back on line.

Another way to look at it is, if we are still here and our lives are not happy, prosperous and peaceful then that means there is still something we need to look at. With our limited perception we only see part of the picture so we tend to fight what is obvious. With this knowing we can be more aware and responsible for our actions as well as be a participant in our lives instead of running it unconsciously.

Thank you and Enjoy!